Why do people insist upon rendering niceties upon the unworthy, useless scraps of society?  I’m referring to bums.  Vagrants.  Hobos.  Indigents.  Street people.  Homeless.  Societus Derelictus.

So I’m on my way to the Subway across the street from my office.  I have a ragged, black bum walk up to me, getting in my way, and begging for money, in this raspy, barely coherent voice that just squeaks from years of persistent drug abuse.   I give him my usual “fuck off, you don’t need any more drugs” look and he walks away, probably swearing under his breath, who cares…useless people.

I go into the Subway and get in line.  In front of me is a couple of average looking people, and a nicely put together (read: well dressed, professional) black woman.  All of the sudden, this also, well put-together black man who is clearly with the aforementioned woman walks in with this bum with him.  He proceeds to buy this foul-smelling human trash a footlong sub (and when asked if the man paying wanted to make the bum’s order a meal, the bum interjected vehemently to the affirmative) and a drink, and walk outside and send the bum on his way.

So now you’re thinking, “Tom, you asshole,  have you no heart? No compassion for your fellow man?”  Let’s look at this situation logically:

1. A simple sandwich is not going to miraculously transform this wreck into a useful member of society.  In fact, buying him a sandwich only demonstrates to him, that like the liberals of this country, someone will always take care of him because he chooses not to do so himself.
2. By wasting my time and the time of everyone behind me with this crap, you hurt the economy.  You tied up several productive members of society from conducting business.  Furthermore because I had to write this blog instead of working.
3. If your conscience is so stained that you feel a need to help people like this, you should probably just give him money.  Yeah, he’ll probably buy drugs or alcohol with it, but these are things he’s already addicted to anyway.   The grab is, that he’ll probably mug, murder, or otherwise accost someone to get his drug money.  Maybe he’ll rape his victims for funsies too.  So congratulations, you self-aggrandizing prick, you have a potential rape/murder on your conscience now.
4. It’s really much easier just to push him into traffic in the middle of the night.  We all know people street race on the Tucson streets at night.  Do him (and us) a favor by removing his wretched existence.

Next time you want to help a bum…ask yourself who you’re hurting in the process, and just tell him to get a fuckin’ job like everyone else.