…or whatever it’s called. It’s a Firefox extension that keeps your bookmarks, passwords, cookies, history, and session information synchronized between multiple computers. It even encrypts the data, so that (according to google) even they can’t read it. I’d want this independently verified before I stored my passwords or cookies on there, but for now, the bookmarks sync feature is awesome. If you’re using something like Chipmark (like I was) this will blow your mind. Since it’s not a live storage system, when it can’t reach google, your browser still works.

Anyway, check it out. A google search will yield the firefox extension.

Below is a chat transcript of a conversation between me and HP’s “live” chat support.

Penley
Hello Tom.

Penley
Welcome to HP Total Care for Compaq Products. My name is Penley. How may I assist you today?

Tom
i had to transplant my 7ap195 (compaq) into a new case…are there specs for the proprietary connector used to connect the front usb/firewire ports?

Tom
i’m looking for a pin diagram that maps the pins on the motherboard socket for the connector to the usb/fw headers

Penley
Sure. I will help you.

Penley
May I have your serial number?

Tom
i don’t have that at easy access, sorry.

Tom
i’ve called for support on the unit before and provided my serial number, so it should be able to be located via my name/other personal info

Penley
May I have your serial number of your computer?

Penley
Please g ive me sometime while I search the information for you.

Penley
I will provide you a URL, from that you will get all the information which you needed.

Penley
The URL is:

Penley
ftp://ftp.compaq.com/pub/supportinformation/consumerdocs/MaintServcGd/7AP-EP.pdf

Penley
Are we connected?

Tom
yea, i’m reading over that pdf now

Penley
Ok.

Tom
this document doesn’t have any detailed info on the pin assignments for the motherboard connector for the fron i/o panel

Tom
could you locate a service/technical manual for the motherboard?

Penley
We do not have the mother board connector information of this model.So I suggest you to

Penley
Sorry for the above line.

Penley
I have verified the specifications of your Presario 7AP195 PC in our database and was unable to find any manuals. However, the getting Started manual wil l be supplied along with the Presario. If you cannot find it, please contact the place from where you have purchased the computer.

Penley
Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Tom
No…but to be honest you weren’t especially helpful to begin with

Penley
I am verified all database but manuals of this model not available.So please do not feel bad.

Tom
can you get me the information for a technical support engineer that *can* help me?

Penley
I suggest you to contact nearest service provider.

Penley
Are we connected?

Tom
thanks…that’s not very helpful. if you don’t have a service manual, how are they supposed to be of any more use?

Penley
Tom, I truly apologize for all the inconvcenience this is causing you. But, I wish to inform you that we have provided all the information that we can.

Penley
However, opening the c hasis and working on the Motherboard is not recommended for the end users. Since this may cause some serious issues.

Penley
Only a expert and experienced technician are supposed to work on the Motherboard as they are aware of all the consequences that could happen if some thing goes wrong.

Penley
Tom, are we connected?

Penley
Please respond as a delay may cause a disconnection in our chat session.

Yet another reason *not* to ever buy a Compaq or HP computer…

So, on September 19th, my credit union decided to implement some new security features that as a result, I will not be using them any longer. Let’s start at the beginning.

When I opened my account at Hughes, they were one of the first small credit unions to have online banking. Now, all they needed was my account number, and my PIN. SSL site, I was happy. I could have my computer automatically login for me and download my accounts, and import them into Quicken. The point was, I didn’t need to interact much with the poorly designed interface.

Sometime after that (and sometime ago) they decided they needed more security in the midst of the ZERO reported cases of theft of information. So they put a capcha there. For those who don’t know, a captcha is a test to distinguish biological entities from machines, via a simple task such as typing the word/letters in the graphic. Whatever, this was easy to defeat using a java servlet, a database, and a greasemonkey script. With a month of captured info, a little bit of math, I figured out the relationship between the image name (its a 128bit hex number, hint hint) and the image’s “code” and with a greasemonkey script, was back at it again. They didn’t change the algorithm too much when they “improved” security either. It was a pain in the ass with the capcha, and I was close to moving my money when they did this, but the cracking of their capcha system presented my a challenge that I had no choice but to accept.

Now for why I’m really pissed off. Here’s what I have to do to log in NOW, after these new updates that are brought on by yet another ZERO theft cases. First, I put in my account number and solve their capcha (same algorithm as before, tee hee) and hit next. Then, they ask me one of the 3 question/answer pairs I gave them when I went through the mandatory setup procedure, I have to enter the answer and hit next. Then they show me my code word which I’m supposed to verify and THEN I’m allowed to type in my PIN and login to the e-banking interface. This is too much of a pain in the ass for me to put up with.

So, all you fucking retards at Hughes, for not allowing the user to opt-out of this ridiculous waste of time security system, I’m taking my money (and my business) elsewhere. You fucked up for the last time. I won’t even tell my readers how you botched up bigtime with your pathetic bill pay service. Wait, yeah, I will. Long story short, I set up a bill payment, and they sent it to the wrong place. I resolved the issue with the payee (who, suprisingly have had this happen before with Hughes customers, and Hughes failed to resolve the problem) but it’s still 2 hours of my life I wasted.

If anyone from Hughes is reading this, you need to let your users decide if they’re too stupid to fall for phishing. I’m not an idiot, I know more about phishing attacks than the people that actually DO them, and I also know how to socially engineer any of the info I need to get through your system out of the victim, without spamming them. Your system is useless, and you need to provide a way for the user to opt-out of this junk and get back their good old-fashioned username and password. I will recommend to anyone I can that they NOT do business with you until this is resolved! You already lost one customer, and I foresee many more to come.

If anyone from Cavion (the people who make the ebanking software interface for HFCU) is reading this, design an opt-out into your software. Also, I don’t know who designed your capcha system, but it’s too simple to prevent any benefit.

So, I’m the proud owner of a free Gilette Fusion razor. It has 5 blades. I’m confused by this…how many blades does a standard, non-electric razor need?

I remember back in high school, I was reading the back cover of Mad Magazine (remember those, kids?) and there was an ad for the “Gillette Mach 33″ razor, featuring 33 blades. This was a whole month after the Mach 3 debuted with it’s many blades, costing a heap of cash for the replacement cartridges, and somehow, being billed as “revolutionary”. I noted the humor in that it described how each “set” of blades did varying degrees of damage to one’s face.

Anyway, after the mach 3, Schick came out with a 4-bladed razor to compete. To compete with this, gillette came out with a version of the Mach 3 that apparently glows and vibrates with the help of a AAA battery. This completely blows my mind. Is this so the wife can borrow it to finish herself off without making her husband feel bad about not getting the job done himself? Or did some exec at Gilette corporation decide something like…”hmm, what a neat way to disguise a vibrator that’s small enough to…[complete the thought yourself, pervert]“. So, now to make this razor work, you need batteries too? They say the vibration makes the hairs “stand on end” so it’s easier to cut them. Sure it does…ya know what else does that? Stick your tongue in a light socket…helluva lot cheaper.

Apparently, people saw through this, and bought the 4 bladed Schick razors. I have no clue why some men think they need more blades, and consequently, more pricey cartridges (though they do last longer, the cost/benefit analysis shows that buying 2-blade disposable razors has lower upfront AND longterm costs). So now there’s a 5 bladed razor by Gilette, which comes in standard, and battery-powered assdil…er, vibrating make-your-hair-stand-on-end models.

I just don’t understand this reasoning.

One of my facebook friends posted this, (thanks to the new activity list feature I even saw it) and I had to share it:

Here’s a prime example of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix.

The professor told his class one day, “Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.

The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely no talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was actually turned in by two of his students, Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY

(1st paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(2nd paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. ” A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle BEAM FLASHED out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she wondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA???! Oh no, WHAT AM I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!”

(Rebecca)
Asshole

(Gary)
Bitch

(Rebecca)
F$%^ YOU, YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea, whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ . . . I really liked this one.

Ok, it’s really sad when a company has to accept culpability for their users being unable to understand the concept of the fucking internet. Let me digress…

Facebook recently added this thing called a “Mini-Feed” to their site, so that any time your friends update something, it goes on your mini-feed, so you have a quick, heads-up view of what all your friends have been doing. Probably implemented fairly elegantly using triggers in the DBMS cluster…but anyway, I found it cool from a technical perspective, as well as a simple “what’s going on” view. I kind of like to have everyone know when I change my status to something like “I’m on vacation, don’t expect me to reply to your messages” or something to that effect.

Well, a ton of people complained, and now they have new privacy controls for the feeds. I don’t understand these people; if you don’t want someone to know something, DON’T PUT IT ON THE FUCKING INTERNET! How stupid are these people? Do people truly not understand this? If you intend upon sharing something with the world, why in the hell do you care when people get notified?

You people are annoying as hell. I for one will be leaving my mini-feeds on, since I think they’re cool, and will be keeping my private info off the internet (or on this blog, if I get really shitfaced). Get a grip, people.