As of today, I’m completely moved out of that shitty, smoke-reeking, retard-proximate apartment complex!

Now that I’m not associated with them anymore, here are my thoughts on Posada del Rio Apartments in Tucson, at 7424 E Speedway Blvd, and why you do not want to live there, in no particular order:

• There are too many retards. Literally. This place is a fucking HAVEN for these mentally-absent walking bags of shit. And they’ll talk to you too…don’t be fooled, that’s 5 minutes you will *never* see again.
• When I moved in, I had to completely redo the wiring for the cable TV.
• There are tons of people that can only be described as poor, trailer park trash. They drive beat-up shitbox cars, and they can’t seem to park them. They also sit around and barbecue outside in their underpants. The apartment doesn’t care; they cater to that kind of crap anyway.
• The complex is a gated community, but the gate is broken so much it isn’t even funny. Moreover, people invite guests and don’t let them in the gate, causing the 6 car parking area outside the gate to fill up and back up traffic on speedway at times.
• There is a crime problem. Aside from my car getting broken into, and another car similar to mine, I have counted a total of 18 *obvious* vehicle breakins over the year. If you don’t have an alarm, and a katana/gun/big knife/big stick to back it up, don’t live here.
• There is always someone smoking pot (or crack, now that I’ve had some friends from work help me ID that smell) in the complex. The apartment manager *says* they evict people for crimes on rental property. Not one of them has been evicted.
• If you do have an alarm, kids will randomly set it off on purpose by whacking your car with newspapers. See the comment above about weaponry.
• The maintenance staff does not care about you. When I moved in, my back left burner on my range didn’t work, there were spots on the carpet, and the storage area on the balcony did not lock. As of moving out, not one of these items was ever fixed.
• The aforementioned trailer park trash will yell at each other at all hours of the night. I personally find this entertaining, but most people would rather be able to just sleep.
• Because the people below me smoke, my apartment always smelled like ass. I had to open the windows the minute I got home for at least 2 hours to be able to sleep.
• It’s just down the street from a fire station. You *will* hear sirens pretty much all night.
• The water pressure in the pipes is ridiculously low.
• If you’re lucky enough to get a unit with a washer/dryer in it, it’s terribly small and next to useless
• My refrigerator needs its coolant recharged, they can never seem to find the right maintenance man to help me.
• There are no attractive women living there.
• The units not well insulated. This has 2 problems: one, when your downstairs neighbor turns on his A/C, you hear it all through your apartment. Two, because of the shitty windows, you run your air ALOT. My new house, at over 2x the square footage of my apartment, will cost less per month in electricity.
• The hot water heater is tiny. Don’t count on being able to soak in a hot bath after a hard day. It ain’t gonna happen
• It’s on speedway. The ricers will keep you up all fucking night with their hotrodding antics.

So in closing, don’t live there. You’ll regret it.